The Ultimate Tattoo Design Search

Grab a beer, kick your feet up and let me tell you a little story about a bald guy, a motorcycle, two cops, a rattlesnake skull, a drunken hippy and the ultimate tattoo design search. Drink fast, because this one's gonna fly right past ya.

It all started with a few tokes from a bowl and a long ride on a winding road several years ago. I remember I was about half way through the really good corner when it hit me - I think I'll go get a tattoo. I'm not sure why that thought came to me. But maybe it was because I remembered seeing a ratty lookin' old building a few miles up the road. The sign on the building said Tattoos. He was obvioulsy very creative.

Anyway, when I walked inside the first thing I noticed was a rattlesnake skull sitting on a shelf with about a half inch of dust on it, and I started thinkin' about clean needles and diseases. Words jumped across the room at me. I think you need a haircut. As I turned around thinking That NEVER gets old. I noticed this fifty something year old guy with hair past his shoulders.

What can I do for ya baldy? he asked without a smile. To which I replied Just stopped in to check out your tattoo designs - searching the pictures on the wall to avoid looking directly at him. That stuff in the bowl I mentioned earlier had me feeling more than a little paranoid.

I think you need a clown face on the back of yer head! he grumbled. At this point I realized that I had two choices. I could beat up this old man or just walk out. Yet for some reason I chose option three - push back and see where it goes.

Maybe you should just shut the @#%# up! rolled off my tongue as two police officers came walking through the door. I was beginning to wonder which episode of The Twilight Zone I had just ridden into when one of the cops grabbed my arm and walked me outside. I thought I was in deep, deep ... stuff.

I was asked politely to Get back on your bike and get the hell out of here! So I did just that. I found out later that the old, drunk tattoo artist hadn't paid his rent on the building. The owner stopped by to collect about an hour before I got there and this guy punched him in the mouth. The landlord had gone home and called the cops - who were there to arrest the old hippy.

Needless to say my tattoo design search was over for the day. Hope your goes a little better, but then again - it was kinda fun.
About the Author

Browse thousands of cool tattoo designs! Print the ones you like and take them to your favorite tattoo artist. Your tattoo design search ends right here. http://www.Click2C.ws/cooltattoos

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Bush and Cheney Seek Advice on Iraq

December 11, 2006 WASHINGTON, AP - President Bush on Monday opened three days of intensive consultations on Iraq, saying the United States and countries across the Middle East have a vital stake in helping the fragile government in Baghdad succeed. ...Bush is under intense pressure to come up with a new approach in Iraq, particularly after the Republicans' loss of Congress was blamed on the president's handling of the war.

State Department Conference Room, Wednesday, December 13th. President George Bush, Vice President Dick Cheney and Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice are seated around the table as former President Jimmy Carter makes his exit.

Jimmy Carter: Y'all take care now and give my proposal some serious thought. Ah'm certain it'll put you on the right track with the Sunnis and the Shiites and of equal importance, generate some much needed good will for the United States with the rest of the Middle East.

Rice: Thank you very, very much Mr. President. Your advice is greatly appreciated. As always.
(Carter leaves, closing the door behind him.)

Bush: Am I delirious or did I just see him stuff a sandwich into his pocket on the way out?

Cheney: That's what happens when you exchange dinner at the Palm for bag lunches at Habitat for Humanity. Who's next?
(Condoleeza Rice picks up a phone.)

Rice: Dr. Kissinger's outside.

(Bush and Cheney groan.)

Cheney: Been in the United States 70 years and still talks like he's the head waiter at a Liepzig beer garden.

Bush: And such a know it all.
(Rice gets up to open the door.)

Bush: Condi, hold up. I heard Henry was the inspiration for Dr. Strangelove in that Peter Sellers picture. That true?

Rice: I never heard that.

Bush: Call Langley for me will 'ya? Have them check it out. I'd get a hell of laugh with that at the White House correspondents' dinner.
(Rice opens the door and Bush rises to meet Henry Kissinger as he enters.)

Bush: Henry! Thanks for coming. You look terrific. Doesn't he look great, Dick?

Cheney: Henry has to look terrific - it's part of the consultant's bill of rights.

Bush: Henry, remember when we last sought your advice on Iraq and you told Dick and I, 'Victory over the insurgency is the only meaningful exit strategy' and we all agreed wholeheartedly with your assessment and decided then and there to plow forward?

Kissinger: Yes, of course.

Bush: Do you remember what you told us to do after that? Dick and I can't seem to recall and while I know for a fact that Powell was taking notes that day, he won't return my calls.

Kissinger: Perhaps if I state my recommended course of action another way for you, it will help to clarify things a bit. The only meaningful exit strategy is victory over the insurgency.

Bush: Now it's coming back to me! Dick, toss me that pen.

Rice: Hold on. It's the same thing.

Bush: What's the same thing?

Rice: It's the same line he gave us three years ago when we asked for advice. He just transposed it.

Bush: What does that mean, transposed?

Cheney: Henry?

Kissinger:(Rises to leave.) I think I've said it all. Really. Follow my advice, remember to stay positive and things will be fine in no time at all.

Cheney: Henry! Wait. Just slow down a second.
(Kissinger stops, eyes darting nervously around the room.)

Cheney: What's got into you? Didn't you offer to help us?

Kissinger: Nothing is in me! Of course I offered to help. What are you talking about?

Cheney:(Almost a whisper.) Bob Woodward.

Kissinger: Where? Where is he hiding? (Playing to the rafters.) Mr. President, at the risk of repeating myself, I haven't a clue as to what to do about Iraq! I thought this meeting was to plan a surprise party for Donny Rumsfeld. As we discussed, the balloons are in my car. I will get them now, if you please.

Cheney: Happy holidays, Henry.

Kissinger My sincerest apologies. This Woodward hack is killing me.

Cheney: Forget it. Who's next?
(Kissinger rushes out of the room, pausing briefly to pull his coat over his head.. Rice picks up the phone again)

Rice: Alright, send him in. Do we know a Duane Chapman?
(The door opens and a man with a shoulder length mullet and tattoos down both arms wearing a black leather vest with no shirt and wraparound sunglasses enter the room.)

Cheney: Now that's what I'm talkin' about.

Bush:(Jumping up to shake hands.) Dog, the Bounty Hunter!

Dog: Hello Mr. President, Mr. Vice President. Ms. Condoleeza.

Rice: Rice.

Dog: Thank you, no, I ate on the plane. Well, wait. What are you serving with it?

Rice: Serving with what?

Dog: The rice.

Rice: My last name is Rice, Mr. Chapman.

Dog: You know, I knew that.

Bush: What do you have for us, Dog?

Dog: Mr. President, the key to solving your problem in Iraq is bringing this Muqtada al-Sadr to justice. You get the head, the body will follow.

Cheney: You nailed it, Dog. And not to steal your thunder but I'm betting you want to volunteer to fly with your posse to Sadr City to hunt down, capture and drag that low down, murdering thief all the way to prison by his scruffy little beard, am I right?
(Bush and Cheney exchange high fives.)

Dog: Nooooo.. Quite frankly, the notion of being in Iraq scares us to death. I'm just telling you that it would be wise to send some people in to arrest that guy.

Rice: We've been trying to just that, Mr. Chapman, for more than a year.

Dog: Key is to get somebody to drop a dime on him. Give me the guy that lost his girl to Muqtada al Sadr and I'll give you an address and a cell phone number for Mr. Muqtada al Sadr. That's how it goes down in Oahu and I've been doing this a long time, gentlemen. And you too, Ms. Rice.

Cheney: Terrific, thanks for the tip, Duane. If we hear of any jilted Iraqi males moving to Hawaii, your country may call upon you.

Dog: I'd be honored, Mr. Vice President.

Cheney: Good to know. Now if you could excuse us please, we have another meeting scheduled to begin in a minute or so.

Bush: Dog, you think your wife Beth'd be interested in shooting down there for us? From what I've seen on your show she doesn't take any shi...

Cheney: Drop it, will you?
(Dog swaggers out.) The guy's wearing lifts for God sakes.

Bush:(Bush walks over to get a cup of coffee, singing softly to himself.) Who let the dogs out? Who, who, who, who?

Cheney: Knock it off, will you?

Bush: Who, who, who's left in the bullpen, Condi?
(Rice picks up a list from the table.)

Rice: Kofi Annan, Jacques Chirac, Vladimir Putin, Tony Blair, Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, Hamid Karzai, Norman Lear...

Bush: Is he wearing that hat?

Rice: Don't know. ...John McCain, Hillary Clinton, Oliver North, King Abdullah and Jennifer Wilbanks.

Bush: Who's Jennifer Wilbanks?

Rice: Remember the Runaway Bride, the woman that felt so overwhelmed with everything that she left her husband- to- be at the altar, ran away to New Mexico and faked her own kidnapping?.

Cheney: So when things got tough, she just ran away in the dead of night. Is that it?

Rice: That's it.

Cheney: Finally! Something we can use. Bring her in, Condi.

Bush: I've always liked New Mexico. Lots of dead trees and bushes. What do you think, Dick? 'Bush and Cheney's Brush Clearing Service. No job too small.'

Cheney: Unless it's in the Middle East.

Bush: That's not funny! Although it might work for the correspondents' dinner...
About the Author

John Hartnett is the owner of Early Bird Publishing, a manufacturer of humorous greeting cards (http://www.earlybirdpublishing.com) and distributor for Send Out Cards: Changing Lives One Card at a Time (http://www.sendoutcards.com/hartnett). He is also the author of Now What?,at http://www.johnhartnett.blogspot.com. email:johnhartnett@earlybirdpublishing.com.

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How To Use Oriental Designs In Decorating Styles

Oriental designs are becoming increasingly popular as time goes on. You can add an Oriental theme into your home with no problem at all; you just have to make sure that the designs are genuine.

The most popular decorating style these days seems to be Oriental designs. More and more people are recreating the look and households across America have generally gone Oriental mad. Oriental style home decorating is just one of a long line of Oriental interest. People love Oriental tattoos, stencils and pictures to name but a few and so home decorating was bound to be the next big Oriental craze.

Of course there are reasons for this and the fabrics that many people include in their Oriental style decorating are often extremely well made and they can look luxurious.

Popular Oriental Designs

One particular Oriental design which many people love is the Chinese alphabet. You can purchase cushion covers with the Chinese alphabet on them and also rugs too. They look exciting and foreign and that is the look that many people are trying to achieve within their homes. When we think of the alphabet we think of one single letter. However the Chinese alphabet is different and each letter is represented by an ideogram which often looks quite impressive.

Another popular Oriental design is found in embroidery and as most Chinese embroidery is handmade, it does tend to be a lot finer and more luxurious than other types. Oriental embroidery often adds a touch of elegance to a room and exoticness too. As well as embroidery you can get Oriental designs on household items such as bone china plates and you can even find them on furniture.

Generally Oriental designs are patterned and they can be quite bold. Their patterns are fairly complex and they often look really impressive. From bright reds to deep blues, the colors draw your attention and any visitor to your home will comment on how beautiful the designs truly are.

If you do want genuine Oriental designs within your home then it is better to order them from a genuine Oriental style store. Many American stores offer oriental designs but they are not actually created outside of America and therefore they do not look the same or have the same feel to them.

Overall Oriental designs are popular and they can be found in many homes across America. They can add warmth, luxury and impressive qualities to the home and they are fairly easy to purchase too.

About the Author:

Andrew Caxton is an online entrepreneur and writes for http://www.home-decorating-reviews.com . A focused website that offers the best articles on decorating styles and oriental interiors.

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